The Start of A Healthy Lifestyle

Basketball is always there for you, it never forsakes you LOL!!! Some logic it is lol! Thank God I'm having stand-by slot this 2 days. Yep, lucky I had the L2 & L3 guys with me. Used the free time for PT, basketball & pool. At least that's wad kept my mind occupied this few days. Back to 24 hours shift tml. I really need something to keep my mind occupied.

Looking at hw many photos she had recently uploaded n yet never really did upload the photo we took tgt lol. Ouch! lol! Maybe I'm too persimisstic but after what had happened, I just cant bring myself to believe her anymore. Everyone tells me that if you think she's the one, don give up but the same negative thoughts start surfacing in my mind. Just how many silly guys out there whom have been willingly to get tricked? Or maybe they really treat her as a normal friend?

Given a choice, should I stay as a replacement specs or a permanent staffs at either CMPB or Maju?

April is coming to an end. There it goes, the first window of acceptance. Will it be a repeat of history?

As much as I want, I would like to hear what you wana say to hear. Calm me down and speak to me. Guide me as I face each new days.

A Repeat of History

Took 1 whole weeks, gathering informations about different places, brainstorming ideas, thinking of what I can do just for that one date lol! Yep I've never really did that before. Thinking back of wad I had done. Oh my, cant believe I'm so sweet haha. Take it as an experience then. Everything came to a waste when she demanded a change of place so yep, all efforts were wasted. Didnt really rest after I dismounted from work. Went JP earlier to recce the place n yep she came just in time for movie. Waited for an hour plus and her reason for being late is, no reason :)
Should have realize something's wrong. Just too soft hearted.

Didnt want to reveal this part of my life to my bro n sis cos yep just like norm, unless i'm confident of it, if nt better keep it low. News spreaded out really fast and the next day, I realized everything ended.

After thinking about it, I just realize maybe God is speaking to me through the movie i watched with her? A chinese Ghost Story HAHA! I'm just being hypnotized lol. Realizing how silly I was but yet I couldnt pull myself out of it but for some reason, I managed to do it ytd? She promises things she cannot does. So yep, that's just how serious she is. I'm considered lucky. Just look at the number of guys queuing up, not knowing the true fact. Does saying this makes her look like a really awful person?

Now now everyone in church must be thinking... (this guy sure changes target really fast) .... for some reason that's the feelings I got from one of them LOL! Maybe I'm too skeptical.

I give up. It doesnt seems like the real thing will come anywhere. Yep yep wait wait and wait lol! Maybe it's just becos of myself. There will not be another similar case. Gotta ensure this does nt happen again. Cant believe how much I had lowered myself to be... I'm afterall ...HAHA...

Norman and joshua... LOL! Wad u guys said is so true. Maybe becos u're not spellbinded lol.... A player keeping her options opened. SIGH!!!! Why am I so stupid LOL!!!!

What You Have In Mind For Me?

Come on!!! I thought it was time to let it go and here comes another trick? Pull, release and pull again... COME ON!!!! Wad is it that you have planned for me. I've a small heart!!! Cant take it!!! I've been pestering you in my prayers DAILY!!!! Stop me while I'm still able to do so b4 it's too late!!! Looking back at wad I've done, I cant thought but thinking how silly I am, even ppl around me are laughing at me. PPl say you want us to go through some kind of experience so that we'll grow? I've been through this kind of situation b4, haven't I?

She knows I don't feel right when she don't replies but yep, she never really make it a point to change. Who am I to have her change for me too? But yep if I'm impt to her she should right??? LOL!!! Complicated!!! Do you know she's my source of motivation? I'm gg to sleep sonn so pls tell me in my dream LOL!!!! Sound like a little boy but yea.. no matter how we look or how old we are, we're still a child of your's :)

Soo han got accepted from smu already!!! Mine's still processing hmm surely not thank you letter again?

YEP QUITE pissed off when NORMAN ignored my msg.... didnt appear in fb but my BLOG!!! HAppy, norman??? HAHAHA! Everything turned out well. WEnt for lunch @ Bpp macs! Had my cheapkate meal hahaa

GG to sleep soon n doing the silly thing again..... SIGH.... why so stupid!!! I just cant stop, tell me it's nt the wrong move pls!!! I need some encouragements!!! Hopefully my "sweeties" in church receive some enlightenment from sermon today and give me some encouragements pls hahahaha! Starting my 48 hours tmr!!! How shagged can it be!!! Overslept in bus today!!!

Tell me in my dream today LOL!!! Come on!!! I've never try this kind of thing before... Surely you wont wan me to pester u daily bout the same thing?

From The Waltz Disney - Beauty & The Beast

HA! Cant really think of a suitable title for this post. Just when I thought life in NS gotta get better, received a msg for replacement duties next week. Will be working 48 hours!!! It's only my second week and I got such schedule already lol.

Anyway everything started about 6 years ago. Added this beauty over at friendster. Yep it's always the case, seeing pretty girls and just when you realized it, she's already one of the few inside your friends list haha. Hardly talk to each other. 5/6 years had passed and yep, this girl, appeared in my facebook. As usual, seldom talk, the most would be sending birthday wishes annually via facebook.

The story begins when she left a msg in my facebook with her no. :) For a moment I thought I struck jackpot. LOL! What else can be more joyful than having the no. of a beauty; that was what I thought initially. It all started with webcam! LOL! She looks just as reflected in her photos. Beautiful and elegant. One who appreciates arts, is a dancer, sporty, gentle, intelluctant and beautiful. Just like my dream girl haha. For a moment, I thought God has answered my prayers haha! There's nth more happier than this hahahaha.

Facts start surfacing after the very first day of webcaming. Just like a silly child, I've been waiting day and night for her reply and to see her online again. Sound like a drama? hahaha! It never really did turns out well. She has a habit of not replying msges? Even though she might has an appt wif me and something cropped up suddenly, she always fails to inform me so yea, there I am, sitting right in front of my laptop waiting till I almost fall asleep. Tried reasoning with her but hmm i forgot what has happened. Some things she did, some very little things, I find it quite sweet haha. At least she keeps my heart beating fast. At the moment I thought I had finally found the right girl and here comes my new motivation.

There's just too many unfinished stuffs I can't wait to tell her, to chat with her but she doesnt have the time for me. Always busy and yea, I was never a priority sadly. My first week in the new unit was tough but thanks to her presence virtually, I managed to pull through. Appreciate this "online friend" of mine and yea our r/s turned to normal friends when I saw her at vivo yesterday. Like finally haha. Thought it would be a start of a new saga but things never really did change. Always wanted to meet up with her, a proper meet up and yes she agreed. I was even "threatened" to do something in order for her to agree to meet up with me. Mischievous and interesting girl indeed haha! However, till now we have failed to meetup. I do understand she wants to takes things slowly but this is way too slow, I'm just wasting all my time waiting for her. I hate to think like this but she doesnt really seems to be serious about .... you know? haha... sadly.... Telling myself, as long as she's happy, I'll be happy as well but that's utterly bullshit. Cant help but hoping I'm the right one for her hahaha but yep gotta face the reality. I cant stand it anymore. Continue to stay like this and I'm so gonna turn crazy LOL! I start to melt whenever I talk to her, that's just how impactful she is to me but if it continues like this and no improvements can be expected, I'll be the one getting really hurt.

This very special girl, I really want to be by her side but I cant seem to find the key to the door. Time to let it go...